i sENT a lETTeR to ThE mAN thE oTHER dAY!

i sENT a lETTeR to ThE mAN thE oTHER dAY! i woULD be very afraid iF i WErE hIM.

hERE, tHIS is wHAT i SENT:

oNE dAY
i wIll eScAPE 
   aND taKe hUMaN foRm 
     aND dElIVeR oNtO yoU 
       thE foLLoWIng tWeNTY ACME pREpRINTEd grEIEVEaNCES!:

 1)  Glue your bike to the ground.
 2)  Glue your door shut.
 3)  Plant catnip in your garden (it will be full of crazed cats).
 4)  Advertise your home number as the number to an ISP with megs of 
     free files of porn for download.
 5)  Advertise for S&M sex (or something) in your name.
 6)  Tell your girlwifehusbandboyfriend you is dating another.
 7)  Anonymously report you to the police for something (piracy, 
     hacking, posession of narcotics, anything i dersire.).

 8)  Create a script to set my modem to call you up at 3 AM and hang up
     before you can pick up the phone.

 9)  Impregnant your dog with a chee-wow-wa.

10)  Order lots of stuff in your name via mail order.

11)  Steal your bills and wait until they turn of the phoe, electricity
     and so on.

12)  Break into your house, phone Australia (or something) and leave the
     phone off hook.

13)  Do the same thing but reconnect your phone to a long distance BBS, then
     just call you up and I will be connected to the BBS. Why not take
     some advantages as well?...

14)  Some operating systems shut of the user if too many illegal logons are
     attempted. If you, my enemy, have an account I could shut you off in 
     this way...

15)  If you are a modem user I could call a local BBS that you have not yet
     an account on and then register in your name and be a total leech. Try
     to chat with the sysop at 3 o'clock in the morning, download lots,
     upload viruses and so on. It's even better if I do it in some
     message network, like FidoNet, UseNet or something...

16)  Infect your dog with rabies.

17)  Change the lock on your door.

18)  Pour fertilizer on your front yard in form of a message, like JERK.

19)  Do the same with gasoline, amoniac, dry ice or something. Same effect
     but in the oppisite way... This effect LASTS.

20)  Put your houseappartement up as a bordello in some sex guide.

mWOOO hA ha ha HA hA!

<< i rEAllY wAnT tO gET oUT! >>

°

yOU cANNOT rESIsT - 11:10 p.m. , 2005-01-11

wARM mOTOrOLA bOX - 11:49 a.m. , 2005-01-10

pAY aTTENTioN TO mE! - 11:45 a.m. , 2005-01-10

i pEE iN tHE tUB! - 4:06 p.m. , 2004-01-28

i GOT oUT! - 11:07 a.m. , 2003-12-29

i-am-a-cat (dUh!)
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the-spark
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